they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
