i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
