We got so high we made milksteak
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
