the condom got lost in my hair
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
