If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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