and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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