i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
