where am i from again
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
