we're blogging at a bar
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
