i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
