I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
