I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
