Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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