I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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