Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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