If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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