if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
