It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
