dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
