Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
