There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
