I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
