stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
