drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
