Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
