Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need water and some morals
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize