your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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