Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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