At least make sure they are 18
Why
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
