So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
