Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I have post one night stand depression
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
