just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
