How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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