I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize