I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
