one might say we're banned from that church
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you remember whose house we're in?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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