Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The air taste purple.
Randomize
