HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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