Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
