i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
