That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
