You work out of a Hotel?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize
