just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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