Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
