Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
