Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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