i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
