break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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