he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
