only you would photoshop your dick
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
