is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
