Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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