I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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