Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
