i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
