i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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