He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
