I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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