this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
